Friday, August 28, 2015

21/52, 22/52, 23/52, 24/52, 25/52, 26/52, 27/52, 28/52, 29/52, 30/52, 31/52, 32/52, 33/52

  The sweetest, pouty face ever, I wish I could hold her for the rest of my life!
  Bright and early, full of smiles. That is how most of our mornings look like!
  First time ever wearing a bathing suit... Oh, the cuteness!
Coolest kid on the block... hahaha!
All glammed up like a doll...
Having the best time with her daddy in Berlin!
Back in Munich, riding the scary-looking escalators like a pro  :D
Yummmm? or Yuuuuummmmm!  :D
Hanging out with the boys... watch out daddy!  :D 
It's all about the food...
Here's one thing I will have a terribly hard time letting go of when the time comes... 
My sunshine...

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Be the change.

       Hello! Here's a bad photo of tired me, from about 3 weeks after giving birth... I seem very contemplative/nostalgic in it and it goes with my post.

     You know the the change you want to see... Well I feel a bit disappointed these days. I need to make a few changes and I am failing miserably. I had high expectations after having the baby as far as living a healthy life and getting fit.

     'Being healthy' can certainly mean a lot of different things for different people. For me, this translates into good nutrition and overall well-being. I've never been a fan of extreme measures of any kind, most especially dieting, because I love to eat and enjoy the deliciousness of food. That being said, I've never felt better than a year and a half ago, pre-pregnancy, when I was juicing regularly, eating less sugary stuff and working out 3x a week with a really great personal trainer.

     Ever since, I seem to have collapsed into the most sugar-filled phase of my life... I am eating sugary cornflakes with too much milk,  cookies for breakfast, donuts, ice-cream, no 'living' food, actually most days it's  no food until way late in the afternoon and I haven't used my juicer in ...well... I don't remember!

     My husband and I are both struggling with this at the moment and it is just so darn hard to get motivated when both of us are feeling down about it. I am planning to watch again all the nutrition documentaries, since they really helped bring me on the right path last time I watched them.

      I know the fundamental aspects of eating well, but for some reason I just don't... Which makes me really unhappy. This has nothing to do with weight loss (although, obviously it does), but has to do with being healthy. The thought that I won't live long enough to see my children grow or even worst, burden them with my old age illness is my absolute nightmare. I want to be here as long as God and my health will allow. I want to be fit and active and happy for my family. And most importantly, I want to take care of my body before it's too late...

    Working out is a major letdown for me... I just can't seem to be disciplined enough to get myself there... I need a trainer or an engaging set-up to make it happen. Maybe later on, after I will get somewhat addicted to it, I will be able to work out anytime, anywhere by myself, but right now it is just not happening. Good thing is that the Universe seems to listen to me and yesterday, as I was browsing our Abu Dhabi Groupon, I stumbled upon an offer for 5 Bikram Yoga sessions right here in my own backyard for a very very good price. So, not without hesitation,  I bought the voucher.  I always wanted to try it so: Here's hoping!

      As far as 'well-being' goes, there are a few things that have been weighing on my mind, that have been making me a bit unhappy. Now I don't intend to get overly personal, nor is this space here meant for upsetting rants, but I must say...

     A couple of months ago I had a bit of a clash with one of our newest family members. She felt things and I felt things and things erupted in a very unpleasant manner, in front of our entire family. Now, obviously I am not without a fault, people closest to me know that I can get a bit (bitchy) aggressive about having it my way, although it has happened a lot less in the past couple of years and especially since I have had baby Nalia. The serenity of motherhood I suppose...  But in this particular situation I don't think this is what we should have been talking about.

     This is  a person that knows nothing about me, has had no interest at all in getting to know me and most relevant part of it... we have spend close to 0 time together... So how could I have manage to cause her so much animosity is beyond me. I really don't have any problems with people not liking me or having different opinions than mine, but this is family and it matters to me a lot. It bothers me terribly to know that there is someone who has the wrong impression about who I am and acts accordingly. The thing that has been making me feel bad is not the actual occurrence that led to us having a lot of tension, but the fact that I was supposed to argue my point in a language that was foreign to me, therefor many things have been left unsaid on my part. I couldn't get through to this person and our discussion ended without any clarity... I hope at least posting it here will bring me some sort of relief, at least until we can meet again. In the meantime there are more important things for the both of us to focus on.

     Another thing that makes me feel un-well these days is the to-do list that I have been neglecting. Starting with simple things like backing up my laptop so I can delete and make space for new pictures (which is why I haven't posted anything about Europe) , printing out pictures and filling up our Abu Dhabi scrapbook, putting our wedding pictures nicely in an album, reading a couple of books, learning to edit videos, actually edit our videos into little films that we can keep, booking a swimming class for baby, the list goes on...

     Also, I would like to be more active and shift my focus from the online world (blogs, instagram, vlogs) to the outside world and own life. I watch other people document their lives instead of me doing the same to ours!
     Now,  my husband would say that we are doing way more stuff than other people anyway and that I suffer from comparatitis... meaning I am too easily impressed with all the nicely curated images I see online and it is affecting my self esteem. Yes, (you are right dear husband) this might be the case, that is why I have to just turn it down a notch and really look for what it is that I have that makes me happy!

      There you have it...a few regular imperfections.

      I must make a small note: after putting my thoughts out there, I see that these are all pretty superficial issues especially when I look up at what is happening in the world, most of them not even worth attention, but it's some of the stuff that I had on my mind lately...  Any thoughts?   :)

Monday, August 17, 2015

Baby talk

     I can already hear the awwwww! from whoever is looking at the above picture... Am I right?!  :D  :D  :D

     This post has been a loooong way coming... Something along the lines of 7 months (and a half)! I must say, I am feeling a bit disappointed in myself for letting photography and the blog slip out of my array of interests. I know that focusing 110% on my baby is absolutely normal and it is as it should be, it's just... I thought I could be a different kind of mother. There, I said it! (and I have more to say about that!)

     Before baby came I thought I was ready. I thought I knew enough. That I was prepared to be in control. That I was going to be comfortable in this new role and that I won't abandon myself (or my poor husband), that I would be able to do it all... Those disheveled moms you sometimes see in the supermarket, dirty hair, up in a bun, flip-flops, chipped mani, running erratically from aisle to aisle,  barely having a chance to shower, eating in a hurry and peeing on the run... Naaaaa...that wasn't going to be me... Well guess what!?!

     First, let me just say...  I knew nothing, Jon Snow!!! (was that funny? no? I thought it was a little bit funny...ahm. ok!) There is nothing in this world that can prepare you for whatever comes after you give birth to your child.  I might be wrong, some mommy's really do look like they have it all together and they manage to be all fixed up, baby in tow, going on date nights with their hubbies and all that jazz. But not me.  It took me exactly 5 months and 1 week before I could actually say I feel even remotely in control. 5 months!!!!!

     It took me a little while to feel all the mommy-ness and stand up on my own. I'm not even going to mention anything else, because there is not much else I can talk about. My entire being was absorbed by this tiny little person and all of my efforts go into making sure she grows well, healthy and happy. I AM that mom running around looking crazy, not caring if I am wearing flip-flops (again), that my legs are unshaved and forgetting to put on earrings. Because nothing matters anymore, but her. Being on time and on schedule, for her. Yeah, Yeah, you go ahead and tell yourself, like I did, that you will never be this kind of mom. Hey! I wish you all the best. But just in case you will find yourself frantically searching for a lost flip-flop as your baby screams strapped in the stroller half way out the door...remember you heard it here first!  :D :D :D

     All jokes aside's tough, nerve-wrecking, challenging,  distressing, exhausting! You get the picture... But here comes the crazy part: It's also beautiful! It's the most wonderful phase of my life so far. She brightens everything. The amount of love I feel for her, multiplies daily... I literally feel high on love for her. She's just perfect. We are perfect, together. My family of 3. As cliche as it may sound, she gives meaning to our lives, our future is no longer a great unknown, because we now have her to live for. We have to show her the world, teach her how to be a good human, talk all the talks and help bring her dreams to reality.

     Now I am trying my best to slowly find myself again... I bought a new bathing suit, a couple of new t-shirts and a cute pair of  wedge sandals (not up to wearing heels yet), a new mascara, been shaving my legs ( :D ) and am definitely trying to cuddle up to my husband more... This is me, making an effort to be me.

     All we still need is this heat to move on so that we can finally be outside. I can't wait to go to the park, take her for the first time to the beach, let her feel the sand, to the pool with the new floaties I bought for her... Did I mention the super-duper cute bathing suit she has? just wait and see!

Monday, August 10, 2015

Taking stock 08

Making: messes... I can't seem to catch up with everything
Eating: out a lot...
Drinking: nursing tea...gotta keep up with demand  :D
Reading: well... more like planning to read...
Wanting: to buy everything that is on sale these days...
Looking: up to all the mommy's out there, doing a great job
Playing: all over the floor... her, not me.
Wishing: there was a parenthood genie, to just teach me everything there is to know...
Enjoying: watching SOA with my husband every evening. No more binge watching for me...
Waiting: for the cooler weather to return so we can be outside
Liking: my new pair of coral jeans.
Wondering: how many trees do we need to plant in our lifetime to make up for all the paper tissues we use every day
Loving: baby bathing suits. OMG! The cuteness!!!
Hoping: to spend less money next month...
Marveling: how I just gave birth and now she is crawling, eating, smiling, babbling...
Needing: to spend time outside
Smelling: the new (to me) Rituals shower foam and body lotion.
Wearing: my new pair of coral jeans, a T and my trusty Birkenstock
Following: way too many Instagram accounts...I think it's time for a clean-up
Noticing: that we need to baby-proof!! ASAP!
Knowing: that I can trust my instincts more
Thinking: we need to change a few things and it won't be easy
Feeling: pressured into being 'super-mom'
Bookmarking: baby classes, here in Abu Dhabi
Giggling:  with my baby! She is so expressive and already shows a bit of her fun personality

Saturday, August 1, 2015

This month...

I will:
  • organize my photo library! 
  • post on the blog... I have a lot of 'material' from our trip to Europe
  • read a book
  • take baby's weekly picture
  • print out photos and frame them for our living room wall
  • learn to edit videos
  • make photo albums
  • go to the cinema
  • declutter our home
  • work out (find a personal trainer)
  • take less pictures (be more purposeful)
  • eat healthy/juice daily
  • try spinning/yoga
  • find aqua/music classes for baby
  • spend less money
  • finish watching SOA
  • start watching Parenthood
  • use our voucher coupons
  • celebrate my husband's birthday this month

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