When I am wrong.

   

      I would have never thought this about myself, but as time flies by it is becoming more and more obvious that I am one of those negative persons... I may not look like one or even believe that I am, but I am! More often then not, I am armed and ready to negate!

     Now, I hope nobody will confuse being negative to being bad or evil. Although on the rare occasion people have called me that as well...  :D

     What I mean is that I have a tendency to criticize, counteract, oppose to, resist, (call it whatever you like),  no matter the topic or who I am talking to. I am ready to make an opponent out of pretty much everyone and at times, including my own thoughts!

     There is a need I have for being right, for telling it like I see it. For coming off above my interlocutor. I am quite good at it too! Extremely argumentative, pushy if you will (or bitchy, I've been called that too). I can manage to insist until whoever stands in front of me either agrees, changes their mind or resigns the conversation. Either way, I must win! I must win!!
    
     I'm not completely absurd and I might have exaggerated a bit here and there,  this doesn't happen ALL the time. I do give in and accept opinion of stronger, better informed conversationalists, I do listen carefully if the person speaking is someone I admire or appreciate more than others. Other than that, you are toast! 

     Now where do I even begin to say how wrong this sort of behavior is?!

     Not only that I am becoming a person nobody feels like debating with, but I myself am getting sick of constantly having to have an opinion!!!

     Generally speaking, everyone has an opinion about everything and let me tell you... I am tired of it!

     My suspicion is that this stems form all the crazy speed information is traveling around these days... everything is one click and a glance away on Facebook, blogs, YouTube, Instagram, the news... it's getting increasingly challenging to keep up, there is some sort of pressure in the air that we have to be in the know (of everything!), like we are not socially fit if we skip a beat! Everywhere I look, whether it be a mommy group or a social media outlet, I notice people getting more and more aggressive with their response in regard to any topic.  It's like everyone is searching for validation that their opinion is best! Well let me cut it short: It's just not!!!! (mine is! :D :D )

     There is no prize for 'opinion of the day' or a top 10 of the most convincing arguments... There won't be anyone petting your head once you turn away from the damn screen (that's cos most of the time this all happens in the virtual space of the internet). I know this first hand. Nothing freaked me out more than the realization that I posted my opinion (aka bate) and I was then refreshing my Facebook page intensively waiting for someone to counteract so that I can get my daily 'fix' of conflict! I kid you not, I could feel the suspense!!  Do I even need to say how wrong that is?!?

     What happened to the good old times, when the most interesting conversations were held face 2 face over a beer (or 5)? When hot topics came in singular form,  straight from the person they had happened to or maybe once a week in the news (which used to be an outlet to be taken seriously, unlike what is happening today, but that is a whole other topic)... people used to speak and share their opinion when they actually, truly knew what they were talking about...like, because they witnessed things or studied about them or worked with them every day!

    Nowadays we are acting out more and more, from lack of better occupation. And this is scary to me. The fact that I ended up spending a big chunk of my time like this, when all that this behavior is bringing me is stress (I can feel my cortisol levels rising as I type), nervosity, anger, a general sense of inadequacy... Why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Is it for the sake of social acceptance or are we simply addicted? Is it the newest kind of disease? What is it?

     The best part of this post would have to be a good conclusion and maybe a couple of solutions to stop this madness. I don't have any!