Monday, November 5, 2018

Taking stock 13

      I haven't done one of these in about a million years, but i'm happy to be posting on my blog anyway, so this is where it's at!  :)

      I can't really say what made me lose interest in my online space, but it certainly made me feel somewhat guilty that I couldn't keep up. It may be the fact that, as many other people, I too have turned to Instagram more and more. It made it impossible to follow all the accounts I enjoy following over there, posting for my own account and make extra time to return my attention to the blog.

      It may also be the fact that I am a bit frustrated with the 'looks' of my page. It remained only half done and I can't say I'm excited to be here as it is.  Or the plain fact that I simply do not have time to pull out my big girl camera and document our everyday enough to provide me with material to post.

     One thing that I kinda left out of sight is the fact that in this over-cosmetised world of social media, I do keep this space for myself. That should be all the motivation I need to keep posting. It should remain a timeline of our everyday lives together that I can look back upon, regardless of how  'perfect'  everything looks. It should continue to be about my memories and the thoughts I feel like letting out into the Universe...

    But let's go back to the stock... here's how I've been feeling lately:

making: plans. We've been so overwhelmed lately that it only made sense to sit down with my husband and try to visualise where we are heading in the near future. It felt good to get some perspective, but also to get in touch and make sure we are still on the same page.

cooking: mostly quick meals, but also had the opportunity to have guests over and I've enjoyed cooking for them as well. Of course, the perfectionist in me had a thing or two to say, but oh well... perfection is far gone off my list of priorities right now. 

drinking: actually enjoying an alcohol free Radler right now, while listening to some mellow music, locked up in our bedroom after I reclaimed 20 minutes all to myself. Nalia was a bit confused when I explained mommy is not here right now...  :D 

wanting: I would normally want something purely materialistic, but hey, let's just say I matured a bit and now I am wanting time to myself. As in, go out to watch a movie or sit by myself at my favourite Starbucks trying not to think too much about how tired I am... 

looking: not that great these days... I made up a uniform out of sweats and old, washed-out T-shirts, my hair is kinda oily and never out of a ponytail and I think my mascara might have dried up since the last time I used it. I'm planning to revive myself and my make-up bag, so stay tuned... 

wasting: aaaah...this is one of my biggest frustrations... earlier this year I swore I would make any effort to reduce our waste...foods, plastic,etc. Can't say it's been going so well. It takes a lot of commitment and even extra time to create new, environmentally cleaner habits. Time which I unfortunately do not have right now. Not giving up on it tho... We only have one planet. 

wishing: to get a massage(or 5!), to shower in peace without hearing cries and screams on the other side of the door, to get a decent haircut, to start moving my body, to make better dietary choices for me and my family, to make my children and my husband happy... aaah...the list of wishes could go on and on... 

enjoying: my 20 minutes writing this post with a beer in my hand, listening to some cool music... (ok, they might have turned into 30 minutes by now- thank you husband!)

waiting: for time to move on, bringing us relief from some of the stresses we've had to deal with lately... 

liking: my friends. my apartment. my sneakers. 

wondering: how are we going to manage everything we've got going, without scaring anyone in the process... life can get tricky in 0.5seconds. Total chaos... 

loving: little baby smiles, the way our littlest grabs my finger with hers. 

hoping: I can juggle everything I have on my plate right now as well as what I'll be adding soon... 

marveling: how the human body can function on such little sleep... it's a miracle in its own! 

needing: more sleep.... and a back massage... 

smelling: I have just ordered an entire aromatherapy kit, so I'll be smelling all the essential oils soon... currently looking for a better diffuser as well. I am putting my trust in this that it will bring us all some relief, relaxation and   health. 

wearing: oh well already answered this in luxurious detail. check 'looking'.

listening: Acoustic chill playlist on Apple music. Very tumblr playlist circa 2012.

noticing: the pile of laundry that needs to be folded and put away... oy!

knowing: that there must be a light at the end of the tunnel... looking forward to reaching it soon!

thinking: a lot about how to handle a tantrumy almost 4 year old and how to help steer her big emotions into safer waters... :/ 

feeling: overwhelmed. A lot has gone in different ways than I thought it would... We are all trying to cope with the changes in our lives...  

bookmarking: recipes and ideas for a Friendsgiving dinner! Looking forward to some grown-up company!

opening: another pack of medicine... bronchitis has become chronic around here... :( 

giggling: and making all sorts of funny noises to get a smile out of our littlest little. I swear it has the same effect on my brain like crack cocaine does on an addict. Give me all the baby smiles! :) 

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