Tuesday, January 1, 2019

This month

I wish to:

* organize photos
* clear out junk from my phone
* print out photos
* watch a good documentary
* reduce sugar intake
* make better food choices
* get Leah's ears pierced
* travel back to Munich
* visit my uncle
* declutter home
* stay on top of house chores
* put prints on the walls
* organise our important documents
* invite our neighbours for dinner
* take out Nalia's nap / set a healthier sleep routine
* start planning our time more efficiently
* go out of the house every day
* find a crossfit gym nearer to our home 
* use our essential oils
* learn to braid Nalia's hair
* buy fresh flowers every week
* have a girls night
* get a dr. check up
* read before bed
* meal plan
* celebrate Nalia's birthday
* take Nalia skiing
* take vitamins
* go to a live band concert
* have a date with husband (or 3!)
* work towards being calmer and more positive
* do and document homeschool activities with Nalia
* find a playdate for Nalia
* listen to good music together
* invite Alexia to visit in February
* have more pictures taken / be in the picture
* post on blog
* learn to use Adobe
* stress less

This year 2019

     Every year I make a list of wishes, guidelines, plans for the next year to come. This time I didn't feel as into it. Don't get me wrong, I am so very excited about everything that is coming in 2019, but at the same time I am so scared... This is one of the first things that happen when you become a parent, so it's only fitting that when you become a parent x2, the fears grow and multiply as well.

     I am scared that my wishes are obsolete, considering that I am dedicating my entire self to motherhood. I am terrified of putting in writing things that might not ever come to fruition, things I may fail at as much as I wish it was otherwise. I am scared that I am not selfless enough to not care in case these plans don't ever happen. I'm afraid of being broken and unhappy, when all I should be is whole and filled with joy. So then I avoided wishing.

     But being the magical date of 1st of the year 2019, I'm willing to throw it all out there and hope for the best. I'm going to be stronger than my fears and make my little list of things I wish to accomplish and guidelines and plans for this new year of life.

     Of course, some items are too private to be disclosed here, some are routine and some are plain common sense, but they are all things missing in my life or that I should improve.  The list looks more or less like this:

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