This year 2019

     Every year I make a list of wishes, guidelines, plans for the next year to come. This time I didn't feel as into it. Don't get me wrong, I am so very excited about everything that is coming in 2019, but at the same time I am so scared... This is one of the first things that happen when you become a parent, so it's only fitting that when you become a parent x2, the fears grow and multiply as well.

     I am scared that my wishes are obsolete, considering that I am dedicating my entire self to motherhood. I am terrified of putting in writing things that might not ever come to fruition, things I may fail at as much as I wish it was otherwise. I am scared that I am not selfless enough to not care in case these plans don't ever happen. I'm afraid of being broken and unhappy, when all I should be is whole and filled with joy. So then I avoided wishing.

     But being the magical date of 1st of the year 2019, I'm willing to throw it all out there and hope for the best. I'm going to be stronger than my fears and make my little list of things I wish to accomplish and guidelines and plans for this new year of life.

     Of course, some items are too private to be disclosed here, some are routine and some are plain common sense, but they are all things missing in my life or that I should improve.  The list looks more or less like this:

* use my time more efficiently

* enjoy waking up early

* use a planner

* play more

* do more homeschool activities

* listen to my children

* be more responsible

* implement healthier routines for the girls

* have a good skincare routine

* learn to properly do my own make-up

* drink a lot of water and green tea

* eat healthy and clean foods 

* eat less animal produce

* reduce sugar intake

* declutter home and closet regularly

* keep allergens under control at home

* be more mindful about spending money

* live simply / only buy what is needed

* spend more time outside

* go on a hike

* swim in a lake

* find a gym in Munich

* work out every day

* go on dates with my husband / prioritise our relationship

* take time to show appreciation in the little things

* always celebrate special occasions

* travel to London

* travel to Barcelona

* travel to  Romania

* travel to Mexico

* go somewhere new in Germany

* read 10 pages every day

* work hard on becoming a better parent

* keep own flaws in check

* have more 'no screen' time

* sleep

* get more organised

* go skiing

* go to the beach

* do something about this blog (change it/start over/shut it down)

* take more pictures

* make more family videos 

* find a proper place for everything in our home

* hang pictures on the walls

* make photo albums

* reduce plastic waste

* stop thinking negative thoughts about myself and others

* stretch daily

* listen to music

* dance

* throw away / sell things we don't need

* do a good deed

* live up to my children's expectations

* keep promises

* calm down

* take things slow

* meal plan

* be on time

* call family and friends more often

* stay well informed

* be more decisive

* improve self esteem

* invest more in experiences rather than things

* complain less

* learn something new

* use better language / no curse words

* have more patience

* keep our plants alive

* take time for self care

* delete unused phone apps 

* organize photos

* meet someone new

* watch more documentaries

* watch over my health

* use our essential oils

;) To be continued...